is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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