I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
