youre lurking in front of me
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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