It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
