I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
