a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
