Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
