There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Randomize
