a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
