i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
