and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
