Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
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