when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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