i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
