i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
you win again, gameday.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
