you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
