I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
