It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
