You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
