I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
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