Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
