omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
