Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
