Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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