i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
