in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
