I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
