You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She told me I should be a condom model.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Sex in the backyard? Check.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
