How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
