He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
