Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
