Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
