Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
