I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
