thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
