I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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