No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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