if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
