I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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