tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
