i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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