Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
