Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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