try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
