I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
