I want to make a zoo with you.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
