...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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