hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
