and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
