He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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