Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
