Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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